A Podcast for Coaches

Speaker: Hey, this is Mark Butler and you
are listening to a podcast for coaches.

I am thinking a lot lately about
the challenges that coaches face

specifically new coaches, but I believe
these issues extend to all coaches.

You see in the rest of the professional
services world, whether we're

talking about doctors, lawyers,
accountants, and therapists, and

those kinds of professionals, all of
them come out of a training period.

an education period and go into a practice
period, like a supervised practice period.

And for doctors, it's
called residency, of course.

And then for therapists, they
have to do some number of hundreds

of hours of supervised work.

in collaboration with
a licensed therapist.

I talked last week about certifications.

And although I don't believe in
certifications per se, because I think

it's just humans giving other humans
permission to do stuff or not do stuff.

What I do believe in Is supported
practice, I believe very strongly in

it and in all these other environments
like medicine and like therapy and like

accounting, you know, like accounting,
you go in, you work in a firm and you,

you, or in a law firm, you go and you
grind at the lower levels of the firm

and you get your reps and you get
your practice and you get your skill.

Well, coaches come into coaching,
having to learn a bunch of stuff at

the same time, but not really having a
place in time in which to practice it.

So we're telling these new coaches
come on into the world of coaching.

Good news.

It's an unregulated industry.

So have at it.

You know, right.

I am a coach and red crayon and a napkin.

Congratulations.

You're a coach.

I know this bothers some people.

It does not bother me.

I'm for it.

The issue is without a structured
space and time in which to practice,

coaches are having to learn all of
these things at once sales and marketing

and Coaching and holding space and
maybe teaching and maybe facilitation.

It's a solo project to try to go out
and develop all of these skills at once.

And it's daunting.

And I think that too many coaches
quit because if they don't have

a professional background or a
strong, natural aptitude for.

A few of these core skills, they
struggle to get momentum and they quit.

And this bothers me because today more
than ever, I believe in coaching and

I'm not just talking about myself.

Yes.

My confidence is growing, but more
than ever, I believe in the fact that a

person will benefit from spending time
with a trusted other in exploration.

And discovery and inquiry.

I've never believed more strongly in it.

I don't have blinders on.

I'm aware of stuff that
gets said about coaching.

I'm aware of the media.

I could not care any less more than ever.

I believe in a person , spending
extended time with a trusted other

and using that space and time to
discover things about themselves.

To make new plans, set new goals,
heal, learn, and break through.

So the question in my mind is how do I
participate in the coaching community

in a way that helps more helpers break
through, find their footing, establish

themselves and succeed according
to their definition of success.

And I don't think we have great
solutions in the community yet.

I think we have some solutions.

I'm not in a position to make a blanket
statement that the community is failing.

I'm sure that there are many, many
training programs out there who actually

do a very good job with creating an
environment where there's a space and

time for a person to practice in a
supervised and supported way and improve.

My concern is.

Too often, those environments are inside
of training programs and certification

programs, which are so expensive.

That maybe the majority of coaches,
new coaches and established coaches,

would view the cost as a hurdle.

If I'm in the rest of the professional
services world, I honestly don't even

know if you pay for continuing education.

I'm, I imagine you do, but I
imagine you don't pay a lot for it.

My guess would be, and I'm
just guessing and someone will

correct me via email, I'm sure.

That the cost for a continuing
education credit is maybe

in the hundreds of dollars.

, and I would imagine that for someone
in the professional services world to

maintain their license, to complete their,
their continuing education requirements, I

imagine it's not prohibitively expensive.

But if every time a coach wants to get
into a space where they can practice

and where they can be supported, if
they have to spend four or five, 10,

15, 000 some will do it often because
they have the means and the desire.

Some will do it occasionally because
they can swing it occasionally

and many won't do it at all.

So I think there's an opportunity for us
as coaches to create environments in which

coaches can practice in a supported way

at a price that makes it easy and
desirable for them to do it often,

to make it part of their weekly,
monthly or annual coaching practice.

I think the benefits will be not
just an improvement in the quality

of the Industry wide coaching skill
and, and competence and confidence.

I also believe that this will satisfy
a networking and marketing function

for coaches, because another thing
that I think that we're lacking in the

coaching community is trust networks.

I want to have at my fingertips, at any
given moment, a list of coaches that

I trust and And that I can refer to.

I probably already mentioned this on
the podcast, but a few months ago I

gave a referral and very recently I
got a message from the client that

I had referred, thanking me for
connecting them with their coach.

That may be the thing I'm most excited
about in 2024, that one message,

knowing that I was part of a connection.

That got that client great support
and gave that coach a great client.

I love my clients.

I love being able to
provide for my family.

These are amazing things, but weirdly,
the thing I may be most excited about

in 2024 is that one message where
a person said, I just want to thank

you for connecting me with my coach.

I cannot believe how much I'm
learning, how much I'm growing

and how differently I feel.

Even though it's still very
early in that relationship.

As a community of coaches, we can look
at ways to facilitate more of that,

more trust so that when we become aware
of a person who's in pain or a person

who's aspiring to something new in their
life, and if we're confident that we're

not the person to give that service,
as I was with this client, that we can

quickly and confidently make a referral.

To a trusted,

If that idea is not exciting to you,
then I'm afraid you've been unduly

influenced by all the marketing and
sales copy that is in the world that

talks about advertising and funnels.

And all of that other stuff, because
if you exist within a network

of trust, and if you actively
participate in that network, that can

be the only marketing you ever do.

And I would submit that it will be
the best, most enjoyable, lowest

hassle marketing you ever do.

Active participation
in a network of trust.

So why am I saying all this today?

Well, it's not because I
have anything to pitch.

I do want to create something like this.

I've already reached out to a friend
and said, I think we should collaborate

on the creation of something like this.

And we're going to get together in
a couple of weeks and we're going

to talk about, how it benefits her,
how it benefits me, but more than

anything, how it benefits the community.

So there's more and more trust
Between coaches and between coaches

and the people in their lives that
they that they influence So that more

and more people have an opportunity
to explore and discover In a safe

setting with a trusted other.

I'm saying this here on this
podcast because I may create

one and I think it'll be great.

I want other people to create
these same kinds of spaces.

I have a particular set of biases.

I have my way of being, I have my culture,
I have my gender, I have my ethnicity.

I'm not trying to think about how
I can make a space for everyone.

I want to make a space in
which I'm excited to be.

I want other people to create a
space in which they're excited to be.

And I want them to invite and
attract people who are excited

to spend time with them.

I imagine hundreds or thousands of
these kinds of spaces in which coaches

are practicing, getting support,
getting correction, giving correction.

And growing in competence and confidence.

One of the beauties of the coaching
industry is that it's unregulated.

I have a little bit of a libertarian
streak in me and the libertarian in me

says, there doesn't need to be a lot
of rules and regulations around this.

What we hope is that people will
be guided by a set of ethics.

They'll be guided.

By a moral standard that drives them
in their life and that they will

create spaces in which people who
share their ethics, who have similar

moral standards, similar desires, find
their way into their own communities.

Whatever that community looks like
and in that space grow together

Just to give you a little bit more
of a sense of what this might look

like what I imagine for myself
would be a thing that is first of

all, not a Social media community.

So I'm not thinking for myself I'm
not thinking about a Facebook group or

a slack group or anything that looks
like that because I don't like those

it's not that I think they're bad.

It's that I have no interest
whatsoever in participating in those.

Also, my priority here is the practice.

So I want to show up to a zoom room,
for example, or a physical room in

which there is a group of coaches.

And a client, one of the
coaches can be the client.

I'm fine with that.

And then what we're doing is we're
observing a coaching interaction

and the coaching interaction
is not a quick one.

It's not 10 minutes.

It's not 15 minutes.

It's probably 45 minutes where one
coach and one client are interacting

and everyone else is observing silently.

Maybe you play with the structure.

Maybe you play with the, the interaction
between coach, client, and observers.

These things can iterate and evolve
over time, but more than anything,

I imagine the observers sitting and
making notes and having their own

thoughts about what they're learning
from observing the interaction.

Here's some questions that I, as an
observer, would want to bring to this.

If I'm watching a coach work with
a client, I'm going to be asking

myself questions like, what is
this coach's approach to questions?

What kinds of questions do they ask?

How do they ask those questions?

What is the coach's approach to silence?

How much silence do they use?

Because I don't believe there's a
right answer to the amount of silence.

I tend to sometimes be very
quiet in a coaching session.

And sometimes, as I've told
you before, I'm talking a lot.

I'm monologuing.

It happens.

I think that both have their place.

At least apparently they do.

My clients haven't complained.

But I want to watch other coaches and
see what their approach is to silence.

I want to see the coach's
facial expressions.

I want to see the coach's body language.

I want to observe what isn't being
said between coach and client.

I want to observe the
coach's approach to advice.

To suggested action.

I want to see whether they do that at all.

And if they do it, I want
to see how they do it.

I want an opportunity to say, huh,
how would I integrate what I just

observed into my work with my clients?

I want to see whether the
coach teaches in session.

Are they introducing specific concepts?

Are they introducing specific concepts?

Are they defining those concepts?

How are they engaging with their
client around these named concepts?

Do they do it at all?

How do I think it's landing with
the client they're talking to?

I'm curious to observe how other
coaches lead in their sessions.

How do they progress through a session?

How do they start it?

How do they keep it on track?

How do they course correct?

How do they end?

I want to observe all of these things.

And then in that same space and
time, I want to have a discussion

with other coaches in the room.

What did we all learn here?

What was your take on this?

What did you think was the best?

What was most effective?

What do you think was least effective?

Coach, how did you feel
while you were coaching?

Client, I'm curious whether this
particular thing landed with you or not.

I believe these things are
happening in little tiny doses

in the coaching industry.

What I want to observe and what I
want to participate in and maybe

what I want to lead is a setting in
which all of us as coaches show up

to these kinds of settings frequently
and throughout our entire careers.

That's what I imagine.

I don't view it as an easy task
because you have to create an

environment that people actually want
to show up to and participate in.

And that's not necessarily easy.

You have to manage the community dynamics.

You have to manage the group
dynamics in the specific session.

You're going to have one person in
a group of five or six who probably

tends to dominate the conversation,
who may derail the conversation.

It could happen.

You'll probably have one or
maybe two in that group who

don't want to participate at all.

They want to be there, but
they're nervous to say anything.

So you have to work to help them
participate, or you have to have

an understanding in your little
group of what does it look like to

participate, maybe it's fine to just
show up and be silent the whole time.

So you have to create structures that
make this appealing to people such that

they keep showing up and participating.

I don't view it as easy, but I do
view it as possible and as important.

So I bring this to you today because
I hope you'll think about doing it.

I probably will create one of these,
but I do not want it to be the only one.

I want it to be one of hundreds
or maybe one of thousands.

Some of the benefits will
be apparent and expected.

And I think there will be lots
of unanticipated, unexpected,

significant benefits that come from
these kinds of groups popping up.

I'm not here to tell anyone how to do it.

I'm not here to tell
anyone how to price it.

You can charge thousands
of dollars for it.

That's up to you.

I don't think I will because I don't want
that hurdle in the way of the mission of

the group, but if you want to charge a
jillion dollars for it, by all means, if

you want to charge 0 for it, by all means,

the main thing is let's think
about what kinds of spaces

can we create where coaches.

Come together, counsel together,
support each other, learn from

each other, and raise the level of
our work across the whole industry

and across the whole community.

I don't believe we need increased
regulation in the world of coaching.

I think regulation is a security
blanket for people who are very

worried about harm being done.

I also am worried about harm being done.

But I don't think you
can legislate ethics.

I don't think you can legislate skill.

I think you have to make skill and ethics
attractive and appealing and create a

place in a time in which it is easy for a
person to practice a skillful, thoughtful,

ethical approach to their work.

So let's see if we can do that.

Let's see if we can do that.

I'll talk to you next time.