A Podcast for Coaches

Hey, this is Mark Butler and you are
listening to a podcast for coaches.

I want to start today's episode with a
quote from a philosopher kind of guy.

He's a Silicon Valley philosopher.

If you can tolerate that definition
or that label, his name is Naval

Ravikant and among tech nerds and tech
bros and venture capital types and

San Francisco nerdy types, a group
of people, by the way, that I can

appreciate, and I consume their work.

And I love Naval Ravikant.

I think this is a very interesting guy.

I want to share this quote that
I think relates to us as coaches,

although it may not be immediately
obvious why here's this quote.

And he's addressing this
to technology founders.

You're doing sales because
you failed at marketing.

You're doing marketing
because you failed at product.

This is classic Naval.

Naval is reductive and
pithy and very quotable.

You're doing sales because
you failed at marketing.

You're doing marketing
because you failed at product.

I just went and perused Reddit to see
what people thought of this quote.

And there's a whole subreddit of
people who heard this quote from

Naval and they're very angry about it.

Of course you have to
do sales and marketing.

It's so naive and ridiculous to
think that your product would ever

be so good that you don't have to
promote it in order for it to succeed.

And I agree with them.

But that doesn't make the
quote less compelling.

It's this caricature of an idea that
especially for us as coaches can be

so powerful because now consider this.

My hypothesis is that as
coaches, we are the product.

You are the product.

The product is you.

When someone signs up for coaching
with you, sessions may be the vehicle

through which the product is delivered.

You may have a specific modality
that you believe in a specific

model or framework that you use, but
those are all delivery mechanisms.

They're not the product.

The thing, the person is
actually purchasing is you.

And what Neval is teaching me is if
I have to sell myself, it's because I

wasn't good enough at marketing myself.

And if I have to market myself, it's
because I haven't been good enough

at developing myself as a product.

I completely understand that this
framing could be off putting to people.

I totally get it.

I'm not talking about
commoditizing ourselves.

I'm talking about developing ourselves
into such a compelling person that that

person as a product doesn't have to be
aggressively marketed and it definitely

doesn't have to be aggressively sold.

My thesis for the episode is success as
a coach is less about being very good

at sales and less about being very good
at marketing and more about developing

ourselves as individuals such that
we become so appealing, attractive,

and magnetic to other human beings
that we don't really have to think in

terms of marketing and sales anymore.

Now, whether or not that's absolutely
practically true to me is not important.

What's important is the way it anchors
me to the idea that if I work on myself,

if I develop my character, if I develop
my positive attributes, and if I do

that over an extended period of time.

that my own personal development
will do the job of keeping

my coaching practice full,

this is kind of a good
news, bad news scenario.

The good news is it puts my
emphasis on who I am becoming

as opposed to what I am doing.

And I think that's a great plan for
becoming a happier and happier person.

It takes my focus and my energy off of
what I know and what I do, and it puts

it onto who I am and who I am becoming.

It's good news.

It should be a relief to think it's
not about the next marketing tactic.

It's not about the perfect
way to overcome objections.

It's not about the
structure of my sales calls.

It's not about how often I
post on social media or don't.

Or how many newsletters I
send or don't, it's not about

the length of my newsletters.

It's not about the number of
emails in my launch sequence.

It's not about the modality that I
use, the certifications I have, except

in the way those things reflect and
express my character, my way of being,

that's the good news.

The bad news is that even as I
say that, even as I talk about.

Wanting my character and my way of
being to be the thing that drive the

business forward that attract coaching
clients to me the little voice in my

head Does start to talk into a megaphone
and say what do you think you are?

Who are you to actually get up in front
of the audience and say it's character

that counts As though my character is
in some way complete or faultless the

scary thing about a character driven
perspective on filling a coaching practice

is that it will turn the focus Toward
ourselves and then the question becomes

can we bear the weight of that focus?

Are we comfortable there?

Are we comfortable taking a look
and saying, where is my character

relative to where I want it to be?

I have a new year's resolution this year.

We're a quarter of the
way through the year.

I still have this resolution
in my mind every day.

And the resolution is to tell
the truth or at least not lie.

Which I lifted directly from a
book called 12 rules for life

by a guy named Jordan Peterson.

I want to become an honest person.

I want to tell myself the truth.

I want to tell other people the truth.

And it turns out that when you give
yourself that goal, if you spend time

with it, you will start to see How
much deception is, well, maybe not you.

I'll just speak for myself.

I have seen that there are a
lot of untruths in my life.

The big pieces are there.

Of course.

I think I'm good to my family.

I have integrity in the way that I
interact with my coaching clients.

But when you run things through
the lens of, am I being honest?

Am I telling the whole truth above
all to myself about this situation?

You will find yourself having
some uncomfortable discoveries.

Well I did.

I have made some
uncomfortable discoveries.

But that's part of a character
focused perspective on

filling a coaching practice.

It's not then that we have to be perfect.

It's not then that we can't start until
we've completely evolved as human beings.

It's that we make that the
trajectory of our lives and of our

coaching practices where we are
trying to become better people.

And as we become better people, we
of course, reap all the rewards of

that improvement in our character.

The least exciting of which is a
full and thriving coaching practice.

But we also end up with a full
and thriving coaching practice

Our way of being makes
our character evident.

And I think that is a
harder path to choose.

And I think that's the bad news.

At the very least, I think it's short
term harder, long term easier, but

the short term difficulty can be
significant because it's more fun and

more interesting to buy courses about
marketing and sales tactics, to have

conversations about business models.

To discuss whether 24 sessions
is the right number or 18

sessions is the right number.

And what should my hourly rate be?

And what's my niche and
et cetera, and et cetera.

It's not that I don't want to
have any of those conversations.

This podcast is those conversations,
but I want the foundation of every other

conversation to be, who am I becoming?

And as I am becoming that thing, whatever
that is, whatever, whatever character

I aspire to, Does that aspiration and
that pursuit make me more appealing,

more attractive and more useful to my
current and future coaching clients?

So I'm starting there, I'm starting with
what is the nature of my character and how

can I improve that character in service
of above all family, friends, community,

and secondarily, Coaching practice.

If that's my goal, what are
the downstream consequences?

Well, I think one of the downstream
consequences is that you'll

see working on yourself as your
fundamental business strategy

This means I'm not looking at
myself negatively and critically.

I'm looking at myself and saying,
what can I do to develop and

improve my character today?

It includes an acknowledgment of how
I've already developed my character

It's built I hope on an acknowledgment
that you're a good person You've

done great things you make a good
faith effort in your relationships

I'm taking all of that as given.

Now if that isn't given, great, you've
got a starting point for that too.

You can course correct.

We can all course correct, but this
self analysis, the self reflection can

be built on first and acknowledgement
that, you know what, I'm a good person.

I'm a good person who wants to
grow, who wants to find my character

flaws and heal and work them out.

Another downstream effect will
be that you'll look at training

opportunities and training experiences
and communities and memberships.

And instead of looking at them for
their tactical benefit, which I've

done a lot, by the way, I'll look
at a community and I'll say, I'm

only going to join that community.

If I think that there are clients
for me in there, I'm basically client

hunting by joining that community.

Um, I now want to take a different
perspective on community and on training.

If I'm looking at a training or I'm
looking at some sort of mastermind or

membership, whatever it is, I want to
look at it as something that can help me

develop my character, improve my way of
being, not give me some new tactic that

will have temporary benefit at best.

This is a much stronger lens through
which to consider any and every

opportunity we have as coaches,

another downstream effect of this.

And the one that I think I'm most
excited about for my fellow coaches who

want to fill a coaching practice and
be of service and make a great living

is that as we move from a tactical
view to a character view, or from a

knowledge view to a character view.

It sets us up to have everything we do
in marketing and in sales Become more

congruent with what we do in coaching
Because if my my whole strategy if

my whole approach to business is
based more around Who I am and how

I am Then specifically what I do in
any given context Then I don't have

to reorient the client to my way
of being at each successive step.

That's a mouthful.

Here's what I mean.

If I view myself as the product,
then I know that all my marketing

and my sales have to do is give
the person I'm trying to serve an

opportunity to experience the product.

And I want them to experience
it in a way that feels smooth

and congruent at every step.

I don't want them to ever have the
thought, oh, he's very different

in his content than he is in his
quote unquote sales interactions.

And he's very different in his coaching.

Then he is in his sales
interactions or in his content.

I think it's very dysregulating for
coaches to have the sense that they're

being one way in their marketing and
sales and a different way in their

coaching, or that they think they
need to, that sales and marketing

are such a different activity that
I have to be one way over there.

And then when I actually get
into coaching, oh, now I get

to be who I want to be because
coaching is a different thing.

No, it's not.

If you are the product and
your primary focus is raising

your character to another level

and then all you're doing in your
marketing and your content and your sales

processes are expressing that character
and allowing people to experience it.

Then they will feel the same way consuming
your newsletter or podcast or social

media post that they do in whatever
conversation you have before you start

the official coaching relationship that
they do in the actual coaching experience.

It makes it so instead of having to
wear multiple hats, you just take

off all the hats and you just be you.

I don't know if this is too philosophical.

I don't know if it's too abstract.

But it certainly sounds more appealing
and easier to me to say my job is to

become a better person and to trust
that as I become a better person

and as I develop my character, as I
improve my ability in sharing myself,

that the coaching transactions will take
care of themselves and that the business

will feel completely congruent With my
way of being my preferred way of being,

Give that some thought as you listen
to podcasts, as you read sales copy,

as you look at programs and courses, as
you consider how your coaching practice

fits in with the rest of your life, just
consider the possibility that if you

make your own character development,
your primary business strategy,

you'll be happier.

You'll be healthier.

Your business will be
more enjoyable and easier.

That's the hypothesis that
I'm very curious about today.

And I'll talk to you next time.